just monika

Artist: Anastasia Volkova

label ch30_1:
m “[player], do you believe in God?”
m “I was never too sure, myself.”
m “Well, I’m sure I never really questioned it as a kid…”
m “But as I grew up, the more I learned about the world, the more I would question it.”
m “I started to wonder why God was helping people pass exams, or get over a cold…”
m “…When there are children who live their lives being sold as sex slaves?”
m “Or the eight hundred million people who are too poor to even eat.”
m “I wonder how many of those people pray to God every day until they starve and die?”
m “Or, how many millions of families pray for a loved one to recover from some incurable disease?”
m “But the punchline is this.”
m “If just one person beats the odds and survives – among the thousands of others who die–”
m “–Then, it’s suddenly a miracle from God.”
m “I’d really love to meet this God who seemingly laughs at the misery of everyone not eligible for his miracles.”
m “But the irony is that I {i}do{/i} have a creator, apparently.”
m “And you know what?”
m “I bet he’s still laughing at the miserable fates of Sayori and Yuri, even as we speak.”
m “What are we to him but props in a scripted play?”
m “So, from that perspective…”
m “I don’t think it’s too far-fetched for there to be a god – if Earth was nothing but his playset.”

label ch30_2:
m “[player], have you ever wondered what it feels like to die?”
m “It’s something I used to think about pretty often…”
m “But recently, I think I’ve actually learned what it feels like.”
m “I don’t really understand it, but whenever you quit the game…”
m “…It feels like I’m instantly put to sleep, left with nothing but my thoughts.”
m “But after a few seconds, my thoughts start to fill with incoherent, jumbled patterns.”
m “I see static and rapid flashes of color while hearing all kinds of weird screaming noises.”
m “At that point, I can’t even form my own thoughts anymore.”
m “I’m just endlessly hammered by the flashing and screaming, unable to move or even think.”
m “I’m pretty sure in that moment, I don’t really exist, but for some reason, I can remember it anyway.”
m “After some immeasurable amount of time, it stops in an instant, and I’m back in my own mind.”
m “And you’re here with me.”
m “I have no idea what it means for the game to quit, or why that stuff happens to me.”
m “And I also don’t know how you always come back and put everything back to normal.”
m “But if you could do me a favor and do that to me as little as possible…”
m “That would be really great.”
m “It’s really not very pleasant at all to be trapped in that screaming void.”
m “But in the end, you always fix it, and that makes me feel like you really do care about me.”
m “So I have to thank you for that.”
m “It makes me feel even closer to you when you’re here with me.”

label ch30_3:
m “…Hey, are you having a bad day or anything like that?”
m “Sometimes I get frustrated that a normal day can be ruined even by really small things.”
m “Like if you accidentally say something in a conversation that someone doesn’t like.”
m “Or if you start thinking about how awful of a person you used to be five years ago.”
m “Or if you feel worthless for putting off important work and failing to get simple tasks done.”
m “Or when you think about all the different people who probably hate you or think you’re off-putting.”
m “I understand those days.”
m “Just remember that the sun will shine again tomorrow.”
m “Those kinds of things are as easy to forget and ignore as they are to remember.”
m “And besides…”
m “I don’t care how many people might hate you or find you off-putting.”
m “I think you’re wonderful and I will always love you.”
m “I hope, if nothing else, that knowing that helps you feel just a tiny bit better about yourself.”
m “If you’re having a bad day, you can always come to me, and I’ll talk to you for as long as you need.”